Onwards and Upwards

I really do have good intentions about keeping up with this blog but it never seems to happen! I had to stop and write something because Black and I had the most incredible dressage lesson with Phoebe Devoe yesterday that I almost burst with excitement! Black and I had some holes in our flatwork that really came to light in the SJ before he got hurt and I had made it my goal throughout his rehab to really try and nip those things in the bud from the get go. Courtney Sendak has done an incredible job on calling me out on a lot of those bad habits from first lesson I had with her so we can not be dealing with the same issues all over again in the spring when we start jumping. My last lesson with Courtney she told me I really needed to work on Black responding with "Yes ma'am!". Instead of questioning me and answering four strides later because that just doesn't cut it when you're cantering up to a maxed out triple! We worked on that and Black came into our lesson with Phoebe 'yes ma'aming' me from the get go! Phoebe really put us to work asking Black for a 1st/2nd level frame and getting him to lift his shoulders and give me more contact. Boy, are my shoulders and abs sore! We also worked on the counter canter which isn't something I have been messing with a whole bunch at home so that is part of our homework. I was so thrilled with Black because the things that I had told Phoebe we struggled with before he got hurt (tendency to be on his forehand, slow in his hind end) weren't an issue in this lesson! It was the first time that I felt like all my blood, sweat, and many MANY tears throughout his rehab were worth it... So many people have told me "oh y'all will be better than ever!" But now I'm really believing it. This past year wasn't a waste and we learned from it and we'll be better, stronger, and more bonded than we ever have and that's something I'll be forever thankful for. I almost cried at the end of our lesson because maybe... just maybe... this was all worth it.

First Lesson!

Well Black and I have reached an exciting milestone in his rehab: our first lesson! I've been playing with the idea of taking a lesson for the past month or so because I know both Black and I have gotten into some terrible habits and I'm sure they're not helping his rehab. So we went to An Otherwise Perfect Farm and had a lesson with Courtney Sendak last Saturday! I knew Courtney had rehabbed her super pony from a suspensory so I felt confident that she would be able to help me navigate this next scary step of working Black SLOWLY back into full work. I have not gotten the go ahead from my vet yet as we have been playing phone tag and we seem to have opposite schedules- so frustrating! But after Black got some serious kinks worked out from the chiropractor he has been a different, happy horse and I know he's telling me he's ready for more. I've added more 20 meter circles and some smaller (15m) circles as well as serpentine's, leg yields, shoulder in's and spiraling in and out at the trot and canter. But I haven't had anyone watch me ride Black in almost a year. And boy did we need the help!

We were VERY excited :)

Courtney was really great on picking up immediately that Black tends to take advantage of my kindness and talks me into letting him get out of working! Apparently I've been riding with my hands really wide and overflexing him so he just pops his shoulder instead of using his hind end. I had no idea I was doing that!! She started by having me leg yield all the way across the arena to get his hind end engaged. It took a lot of work on my part and a lot of grunting on Black's part but it helped a lot to get his hind end awake. We also put Black perpendicular to the track and leg yielded him down the long side. That was really tough but really helped his hind end come through. I would have never had the guts to do that without Courtney's guidance. Courtney really helped me to understand how much to push Black and that he's sound enough and mentally ready for it. I'm, on the other hand, struggling with that. I want to wait until February or March to jump him since I'm in no rush but I think I'll need that much time to get myself mentally ready to jump him without being afraid of breaking him. At this point, I really have no idea how much he can handle and I'm terrified of finding out the hard way. I've been so careful and done everything I can for Black's rehab that it makes this next part really scary. His rehab has been carefully planned out by the vets up until this point. Now I'm told to take things slow but keep adding work. That's really hard to know were the line is! Well I'm now up to 3, 10 minute trot sets and on a different day 3, 5-6 minute canters. He's working for at least an hour every time he's ridden and between 4-6 days a week. That's pretty dang close to "full work"! But what does that even mean?!
We really pushed Black (and me!) at our lesson and he felt great the end. He was more through his back than he has been in a long time and he was SO happy to be working harder! The best part was his leg was tight afterwards and tight the next morning! WAHOO! While we have a lot of homework to do before our next lesson, more than anything it made me more comfortable with pushing Black during my rides since that's the only way we're going to get back to where we were and even better! Thank you to Courtney for your help! We will be at our one year "anniversary" of Black's injury in about 2 weeks! This year had really flown by...

Are We There Yet?

Well to put it simply, Black and I are dying. I've had a hard time finding the motivation to even ride which makes me feel guilty because in January I couldn't wait to just sit on Black! We are at a really difficult time in his rehab where he's feeling better but we don't really have anything new or exciting to add or look forward too. We just have to continue to add more trot sets and canter sets to his rides until his tear fills in enough that he can be cleared for full work. It's hard because it is so  b  o  r  i  n  g! Although Black does try to make the rides interesting if they get too boring by bucking or spooking like a 4 year old at birds or trash cans as it was today! His newest trick is doing a leaping, flying buck in the canter over tall weeds! Even if I try to avoid them, I SWEAR he drags me to them so he has an excuse to be do something dumb. I think that's him telling me he wants to jump... It does nothing but give me a panic attack.

Best buddies!

Black has adjusted extremely well to his turnout and loves it. He's just as happy to come in during the day which I thought might go away with how long he was on stall rest- he loves his fan too much! I'm very apprehensive about turning him out with our other two horses since he cannot stand my moody, marish pony. I do turn him out occasionally for a couple hours with my mom's 22 year old retired Appy and they are now best buddies! I've never seen Bam Bam take to another horse like he did to Black! We even caught them grooming each other and we've never even seen Bam Bam let another horse get that close to him in the 10 years we've owned him. It's so cute watching them- everybody deserves to have that kind of friend :)

This blog has been a great way to for me to document Black's rehab and cannot wait for the post that I get to tell y'all about his first show back or his first jump school. Until then, we'll keep trucking through the not so fun stuff to get back to the super fun stuff!

7.5 Month Ultrasound

Dr. Cooper Williams came out to do Black's ultrasound today! There is still a lot of filling in for Black's suspensory to do. The fibers have not come in as longitudinally as they should be so we will continue with his controlled exercise in hopes that they will fill in over time. We had a bit of a scare with sesmoid bone as the ultrasound showed some abnormal shapes to the apex of his sesmoid bone. We xrayed to be sure that there wasn't a bone spur in the suspensory or floating in the apex of his sesmoid bone but the xray appeared normal for a 15 year old horse just some normal bone deterioration. Very scary moment for me and I just about lost it. But Cooper cleared Black to go ahead and be turned out since at this point he's doing more damage to himself mentally being in. He's also stocking up a lot more than he has been. I'm also looking forward to not having to clean his stall so much!! We'll also increase his trots to another set and add a little to his canter sets.

Black "escaped" and put himself in the crossties

While I'm glad it's healing, I've been feeling pretty discouraged lately. What was originally going to be a 4-6 month rehab has turned into 6 months, 7 months, and now almost 8 months. I'm now hoping he'll be back in full work by a year. That doesn't include all our concerns about reinjury. I've done everything and more right and still feels like that isn't enough. I knew from the get go there would really be nothing but time that could heal this injury, but what I wasn't prepared for was the mental stress and strain that came along with it. For me and Black! I would say a larger part of this battle has been keeping Black's brain in one piece and keeping my sanity in tack. I have nightmares about what his leg will look like in the morning. Yes, I know I'm crazy! But when you've spent 7 months of time, energy and money into a horse, it drives you to be a bit paranoid. Not only do I want Black back in work because I enjoy riding him but because he loves his job more than any horse I've ever met. I've put so much work and energy into his rehab because he wants to run cross country again and strut his stuff in the dressage ring. When I take him places where there's jumps set up he gets so excited thinking they're for him! He loves his job and after all he's done for me, I feel like I owe it to him to get him back to that no matter how much of my sanity it may take! I'm so thankful for everyone who has helped me keep my sanity through this ordeal. My mom and Matt for their i
ncredible moral support. Susan for calming me down when I find a new bump. Megan for calming me down when all I want do is go run and jump my horse and Katie (better known as Peach) for taking great care of Black when I've been away and reading my ridiculously long lists that I leave for her. Thank you guys so much! We'll get through this and we'll be better for it.

Seven Months and the Move

Black hacking at Gordonsdale!

It has been 7 months today that Black tore his suspensory. It's hard to believe it's been that long. But at the same time we are both really struggling with the rehab here lately. We had been trotting for 10 weeks... That gets old pretty fast. We were finally able to canter this week and it was pretty exciting! We're starting with 1 minute on each lead in the middle of his trot sets. Dr. Boone told me this is a really critical point in rehab because cantering puts a lot more strain on his suspensory. He's stayed very sound and seems comfortable too! Happy momma to say the least... We'll go see Dr. Cooper Williams at the end of next week or the beginning of the following for our next appointment. I'm a little nervous about switching vets but obviously I don't have a choice and Cooper is one of the best in the area for Sports Medicine injuries. The rain has made keeping up with his rehabbing pretty difficult this week but hopefully it'll start to dry up. 
Black really struggled with the move. I could tell when we were preparing to leave he was reaching his breaking point with stall rest. I could just feel it.... Well I was right! Since we only have 2 other horses at my parent's farm, he struggled with there not being constant movement in the barn. The first couple days were rough with complete and total breakdowns on Black's part and then my part. The last thing I needed was him doing further damage. He stayed pretty drugged for the next few days so I could get him to stay calm. I then borrowed some round pen panels from some people in the area. I made a couple round pen stalls in the fields so when the other two were out he could be too. Once we got a schedule going he started to settle in. He seems happy now that we have a schedule down pat! Black lives and breathes his schedule!

He's tried to keep his figure :)

I will update y'all when we go back for another ultrasound with hopefully good news! Both Black and I are praying for turnout!!! :)

Update!

Black and I headed up to Tryon one last time before we move home this weekend and it was bittersweet. We stopped by Dr. Woodiman's for one last chiro appointment and said our goodbyes. It was great to see her one last time but hard to say goodbye. Dr. Woodiman has been adjusting Black since I bought him and Black loves her as much as I do! We also said goodbye to Amy. It was a lot harder saying goodbye than I was expecting...
We then headed to Tryon Equine for one last ultrasound and check. Dr. Boone flexed him all the way around and he flexed sound on his right front! Pretty exciting! He was extremly stiff in his hocks to the flexions so we went ahead and had his hocks injected- he was due anyway I just didn't want to inject them when he was just sitting in a stall. She also lounged him on the soft ground and he was sound to the right but a little light on his right front to the left. Dr. Boone explained that it is possible that because he was stiffer in his right hock, he is compensating with his left front and so making it appear that his right front is lighter. Or because it is his right outside suspensory branch, and when working with it on the outside it is still bothering him. So injecting his hocks will help us narrow that down. She was also really happy with the ultrasound. While there isn't complete uniformity (and probably never will be), it is getting denser and denser so that is a good and exciting thing! Dr. Boone said that with a tear this bad, we should be very happy with where we are at 6 months since his injury. Black will continue doing his 3 x 4 minute trot sets and then 3 x 5's for a total of 4 weeks and then we will get to canter! Still no turnout.... which will be difficult. Black's reaching his breaking point which I don't blame him at all. I'm thinking when we move home, I'm going to set up a round pen stall that I can move around near the field where the others are turned out. He's been so good but I have a feeling he's going to break soon and I don't want him to hurt himself when that happens! From what Dr. Boone says, these next 6 weeks or so will be pretty critical because adding a canter and keeping him sound is a big step. So please keep us in your thoughts and prayers! Dr. Boone reminded me that tears this bad can take 8, 10, or 12 months to completely heal but we are certainly on the right track. It's hard to believe it's been 6 months that Black has been off and in some ways it feels like its flown by but the thought that we could only be half way there is a little scary. I'm prepared to take my time because Black's well-being is absolutely my first concern but it doesn't mean I don't miss competing and jumping my horse. So please keep Black and I in your thoughts and prayers as we continue to fight for our sanity and as we make the trip back up to Maryland this weekend. Thank you all!

Trotting and A Spa Weekend

Handsome boy

Well Black and I got some crazy exciting news last week: We get to TROT!! Wahoo! They always jog Black first and it was the first time he was SOUND! It was very exciting and knew we would get some good news. Since Dr. Boone is on maternity leave, the wonderful Dr. Hay is taking over Black's case and he was really happy with his ultrasound. At the bottom of the tear where his suspensory attaches to his sesmoid bone, Dr. Hay you cannot tell it was ever tore if you did not know it was there! The changes were drastic in his ultrasound from January until last week so that was very encouraging. Dr. Hay cleared Black to start trot sets starting with a 2 min trot in the middle of his 30 minute walk. I trotted him for the first time last Wednesday (2/26) and he felt awesome! I thought he would be stiff since he jogged pretty stiff at Tryon but he felt great! Win!

Just keep swimming...

Then this past weekend I went back to Maryland to spend
some time at my family's lake house before all the snow melts. I didn't want Black to just sit around while I was away so he went and stayed up at Still Creek Farm in the Tryon area so he could keep up with his Aquatreds. Needless to say Black got the 5* treatment with Aquatreds everyday, handwalks twice a day, a huge stall with a window outside AND to the aisle! He was in pony heaven. They even gave Black a bath and washed and wrapped his wraps!! No one understands the simple pleasure of already wrapped wraps until you have a horse on stall rest... It gets old really fast!
This week we are going to try and stay on track with our walk/trot sets with the crazy weather and then Bo and I are going to go up to FENCE next week and go cross country schooling! Bo has had a breakthrough with his connection so I'm excited to see if we'll actually have a half halt this time out ;). Bo and I are also going to try and go to FENCE's horse trial at Beginner Novice in April!

What They Don't Tell You

Bo's signature face!

There is one thing throughout this entire process of Black's injury that has been constant- I learn something new almost everyday. Whether it's confirming something I had learned previously, learning something about Black's care, learning how to keep him quiet or just learning something new about his personality- I am constantly learning something. Of course I would probably rather be learning something new about riding Black, but I'm learning to enjoy this learning curve too.
UPDATE: Black has been moved to a new farm in Pendleton and seems to be adjusting really well! I'm so grateful for Rachel and Valerie's help in Black's recovering and look forward to this new chapter of rehabbing him. In January when I got back from Christmas break, Black was cleared to be walked under saddle! That was the first time we actually got good news when we went up to Tryon for a visit. It's nice to start turning the tables a bit. I hope the trend continues. I have been lucky enough to find a horse to ride for a little bit! Bo belongs to Dawn Johnson and she was looking for someone to ride him after she had surgery so he is living at the same farm Black is for a few months. Bo is an awesome little guy and I feel so blessed to have something so awesome to play with for the next couple months!

Throughout this journey there have been a few things that I have learned about having an injured horse that people tend to forget to tell you so I thought I would share!

Topline changes from August 2013 to February 2014 :(

4. It's mentally exhausting! I went from having a Prelim fit event horse to having to lock him in a stall 23 hours a day. It's very difficult to watch... I came home from Christmas break and his topline was completely gone. It's also mentally exhausting (or maybe not enough) on Black. I'm so thankful Black is such a good boy and has stayed sane 98% of the time. But those other 2% are not enjoyable for anyone...
3. It's extremely time consuming. When Black first got hurt and he was trying to comfort me, my boyfriend said "now you have the time to focus on school work so you can be sure to graduate". HA! Lovely idea but I spend more time at the barn now than I ever did when Black was in full work. I'm at the barn on average 3-4 hours every afternoon. Between riding Black and Bo, wrapping, grooming, and spoiling (because I feel so guilty), my daily time at the barn has easily doubled. Before I didn't HAVE to be at the barn everyday of the week. Now there is no taking-a-day-off-from-the-barn-days. Black depends on me to get out of his stall everyday. Also, this doesn't include the time to run up and back to Tryon 1-2x a week for Black's AquaTred. I was going up there for lessons but not every week and certainly not twice a week.
2. You have to be flexible with your time. I've learned to plan my life around Black and his needs right now. My life was basically that way before before Black's injury but now the day revolves around walking and wrapping. It also requires the people in your life to be flexible. My lovely boyfriend, Matt, was appalled when I told him I had to find a way to the barn today (aka him) because I couldn't get there yesterday so Black was not wrapped or walked yesterday and I knew he would lose it this afternoon. We ventured out on the roads and thankfully they weren't bad! And Matt was a good sport and wrapped wraps for me :). Of course what do you know, Black was on the verge of a meltdown when we arrived (momma's intuition). His meltdown today included stall bucks that ended in kicking the stalls because he was out of hay. Yep... he went there... I should mention he was aced...

Our first 1st level test this summer

1. You have to be flexible with your future goals. *Que tears* With any injury, there are no guarantees. There are no guarantees that Black will be back where he was especially with how bad his tear was. I've wanted to complete a 1* and get my 'A' traditional Pony Club rating on Black since the day I bought him. While it is a possibility that we could get there again, there is a possibility that we won't and that is okay. I have decided to shift my gears and I really want to focus on dressage with Black. It's something that has crossed my mind but it never seemed like the right time. I am thinking it will be about a year (late summer to fall 2014) until Black will be cleared to go back into full work. So I am planning to move Black up through the levels of dressage with hopes to do 3rd level and attempt to get my Bronze Medal in 2015. If everything goes well, I'd like to try for my dressage 'A' Pony Club rating. A little crazy? Probably. But what's life without some lofty goals?! :)